Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here. Your team: Washington Redskins. Your 2015 record: 9-7. Christ. A winning record. I’m gonna puke. Keep in mind that those nine wins all came against losing teams. If they had played winning teams? 0-16. That’s right. You’re fucking winless, as far as I’m concerned. Eat shit and die. I refuse to acknowledge any of this team’s mild successes given that, in the past year alone: •The head coach let RG3 play behind a 12-string line during the preseason and summarily got him concussed… •But not before the team tried to hid…
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2013 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the 2013 NFL previews so far right here. Your team: Minnesota Vikings Your 2012 record: 10-6. FULL DISCLOSURE: The Vikings are my favorite team. But trust me: I hate them. I hate them so very, very much. There’s nothing I hate more, or more intimately, than the things I love the most. Your coach: Leslie Frazier. Adrian Peterson ran the ball 348 times last season after having his knee blown apart. Frankly, I HOPE the fucker was on PEDs, because if he isn’t mainlining stem cells from panda fetuses, his lower body will liquefy by Week 2. The Vikings’ offensive coordinator is Bill Musgra…
Like a lot of people, we're sure, when we initially saw Yahoo! Sports' report — you know, typing the "!" after "Yahoo" must feel a little silly when you're trying to report a serious story — about Reggie Bush allegedly receiving improper gifts from agents when he was at USC, we thought, "Jeez, they're still on this? They know he's in the NFL now, right?" Turns out, though, there's some pretty damning stuff in there, including actual credit card receipts from potential managers traced back to flights given to Bush's family; the ultimate estimate — if somewhat high, judging from the story — given to Bush and his family is about $100,000. If it's all proven true by the NCAA — and particularly if there's so…
data-mm-id=”_y7sjbpek4″>Michael Porter Jr. had a big showing on Thursday night as the Denver Nuggets came back from a 19-point second half deficit to beat the Golden State Warriors in overtime. Porter had 18 points, 10 rebounds and five assists in 29 minutes and proved he needs to start getting more time on the floor for the Nuggets. Entering Thursday night's game, Porter was averaging just 11.4 minutes in 31 games so far this season. Obviously Denver wanted to bring him along slowly after he sat out his entire rookie season while dealing with a recurring back injury. While that was a smart move, the 21-year-old has clearly shown it's time stop limiting him. I'm not the only one who is a big fan of Porter. Charles Barkley is convinced after what he saw Thursday night:The…
data-mm-id=”_cic9127lc”>The coronavirus is going to have deep and long-lasting impacts on the world, and those related to sports are way down the depth chart of importance. Uncertainty over the return of games and the return of fans — which likely won't be concurrent — rule the day and will continue to rule the weeks and months to come. Eventually, though, both will return. It'd be too hubristic for us to think things will be the same. There will be changes. Most experts believe this spring's battle with the invisible enemy won't be the last in the grand scheme of the war being fought. It will come back in waves seasonally until there is a reliable vaccine. Denying that reality may feel good temporarily, but doesn't move anyone closer to acceptance. Going int…
data-mm-id=”_ttd4rotir”>Curt Schilling is so mad he wasn't voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame that he asked to be taken off next year's ballot. That was on Tuesday. On Thursday, after most people had moved on, Bob Ryan logged on to Twitter to let Schilling know that he voted for him and to make his point, he explained that he also voted for Steve Carlton. Why Steve Carlton? Because in 1994 there was a feature about Carlton in Philadelphia Magazine where he was quoted saying a lot of wild conspiracy theory stuff that had some people wanting him left out of the Hall.Hey Curt: What Hall of Famer said 12 Swiss Jewish bankers ruled the world, the last 8 US presidents were “traitors” and AIDS was hatched in a Maryland lab in order to kill gays and blacks and still got 95.82 p…
data-mm-id=”_ywdvnk9jv”>The Detroit Lions had another sorry showing on Thanksgiving under the "guidance" of Matt Patricia this year. They were beaten down by the Houston Texans, who are in the midst of their own no-good, very bad season, by the score of 41-25. It was, at the very least, an entertaining game filled with trick plays and exciting scores, which we fans will take in lieu of a well-played game. Deshaun Watson had another huge week in the process. Against the New England Patriots last Sunday, he was essentially perfect, completing 28 of his 37 pass attempts for 344 yards and two touchdowns to go along with a rushing touchdown. It was more of the same on Turkey Day, as he carved up the Lions D to the tune of 318 yards and four touchdowns on 17-of-25 passing. Watson&#…
data-mm-id=”_bulx1n5p0″>Lukas Van Ness was picked by the Green Bay Packers with the 13th pick in the 2023 NFL Draft. Van Ness, a 6-foot-5 defensive end from Iowa, decided to stay home with his family, rather than travel to Kansas City to wait it out in the Green Room. When his name was called, everyone in the house freaked out, including someone — who has to be his little brother — jumping into his lap while he was on the phone with the Packers. The guy getting dragged off Lukas Van Ness cracked me up pic.twitter.com/ScncHApvFe— CJ Fogler account may or may not be notable (@cjzero) April 28, 2023It was a full house. In addition to the young man who jumped on him, were Van Ness' parents, his mother Leanna and his father Jason, who played also played football at Iowa. The Van Ne…